Line O’ the Day:
Ford said one of his happiest childhood memories was attending a summer camp led by the hockey great Gordie Howe in suburban Detroit. Ford, then 8, wanted to show Howe — his hockey idol — his work ethic and toughness.
He spotted Howe and put his head down to skate hard.
“My heart just jumped,” Ford said of first seeing Howe. “The next thing I know, I was slammed. I’ve never been hit so hard in my life. I’m lying in this heap, and it’s Gordie looking down at me.
“He says, ‘Son, always skate with your head up.’ I was so honored to have been checked by Gordie Howe. That was the coolest thing that ever happened to me.” – Joanne C. Gerstner, Scions of Detroit Families Share Hockey Passion [New York Times]
Best of the Best:
- 9 Teenagers are Charged After Classmate’s Suicide [New York Times]
- Star Trek Style Force-field Armour Being Developed by Military Scientists [The Telegraph]
- James Harrison Rules [Gamma Squad]
- Cooking Some Bacon – the Machine Gun Method [Everyday, No Days Off]
- March High Yield Issuance Is All Time Record [Zero Hedge]
- What the Hell is Buried in this Half-Ton Coffin? [io9]
- A History of Obama Feigning Interest in Mundane Things [NY Mag]
- How They Brought NBA Jam Back From the Dead [Kotaku]
- The Rise and Fall of a Hobby, In 12 Cards [Dave Jamieson via Deadspin]
- How the Left Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the FBI [The Independent Institute]
- The Amazonian Tribe that Can Only Count to Five [The Guardian]
- Vatican Officials Defend Pope’s Handling of the Case [New York Times]
- From Bucolic Bliss to “Gated Ghetto” [Los Angeles Times]
- Why Is The Fed Actively Managing A $25 Billion Maiden Lane MBS Portfolio When Its $2.4 Trillion SOMA Holdings Have A $1 Billion DV01? (And Are Unhedged) [Zero Hedge]
- The Seven Fallacies of Economics [Lawrence W. Reed via The Freeman (April 1981)]
- Counterfactual: A Curious History of the C.I.A’s Secret Interrogation Program [The New Yorker]
- The Criminal NSA Eavesdropping Program [Glen Greenwald via Salon]
- “Reporting” on Iran Should Seem Familiar [Glen Greenwald via Salon]
- In Which We Declare a Fatwa on All Online April Fooling [Big Daddy Drew via Deadspin]
- Revenge of the carp: Fish hunted by woman armed with bow and arrow leaps out of the water to smack her in the face [The Daily Mail]
- Seeing Ken Griffey Jr. In Backwards Hat Now Just Depressing [The Onion]
The Remains:
- Socialized Soccer: the Ill-Conceived Plan to Return English Football to the English [Barry Petchesky via Deadspin]
- Afghan Leader is Seen to Flout Influence of U.S. [New York Times]
- Militia Charged with Plotting to Murder Officers [New York Times]
- Enhance! [Gamma Squad]
- Think Tank: Redesign Over Our Wind Turbines [Times Online]
- Are Tiny Killbots the Cure for Cancer? [Gamma Squad]
- Bill Lockyer, Furious That California Is Riskier Than Kazakhstan, Sends Angry Letters To Goldman et al About State CDS Trades; (Or The Greek CDS Scapegoating Campaign – Animal Style) [Zero Hedge]
- Scientists Disrupt Moral Reason with Magnets to the Skull [io9]
- Judge to Big Pharma: You Can’t Patent Genes [io9]
- 20 SciFi Disco Videos that were Made by Insane People [io9]
- The Roll-Up Computer Screens are Almost Ready [Gamma Squad]
- Scream to Recharge [Gamma Squad]
- NH State Rep: Anime Means Two Nukes Weren’t Enough [Gamma Squad]
- This Scooter Spits Hot Fire [Gamma Squad]
- 10 Awesomely Disastrous Follow-Up Albums [Uproxx]
- Why Don’t More Famous People Have AIDS? [Big Daddy Drew via Deadspin]
- New York Mets: the Undulating Curve of Shifting Expectations [Will Leitch via Deadspin]
- Baltimore Orioles: the Stacked Deck [Will Leitch via Deadspin]
- The 80 Hottest Girls of the 1980s [BroBible]
- Five Unbreakable Records You’ve Probably Never Heard Of [Gunaxin]
- Jewish Elders Lift 6,000 Year Old Ham Ban [The Onion]
- FBI Launches Raid on Christian Militia Group Which is “Preparing for Battle Against the Anti-Christ” [Mail Online]
- Fake Caviar? Fight Against “Food Fraud” Grows [MSNBC]
- Boy Shot by Police Remains Critical [News4Jax]
- 1o People, Ages 8-21, Shot Dead in Mexico [CNN]
- Homeowners Balk as Property Tax Bills Stay High [USA Today]
- Recharging Debate, Obama Expands Offshore Drilling [Yahoo!]
- Police: NJ Teen Sold Stepsister, 7, for Sex [MSNBC]
- Judge: Anti-Eminent Domain Mural is Not Art, Must Come Down [STLToday]
- California Solar Projects Rush to Beat Deadline for Subsidies [USA Today]
- When the Military Moves a War, There Are No Shortcuts [New York Times]
- Successes (and Some Growing Pains) at Hulu [New York Times]
- PIIGS Claims On European Banks: $1.5 Trillion; France Most On Hook In PIIGS Implosion [Zero Hedge]
- Irish Banks Need $43 Billion in New Capital as “Worst Fears Have Been Surpassed” [Mish's Global Economic Analysis]
- Too Big to Fail: Not Just a Bad Policy, It’s Also a Total Scam [Dave Lewis via Seeking Alpha]
- Timeless Investment Classic (Part I): The Best Book Ever Written About Market Psychology [Joseph L. Shaefer via Seeking Alpha]
- Deep Thoughts From FX Concepts’ John Taylor: “They Still Think The Government Will Save Them” [Zero Hedge]
- Treasury Unemployment Benefit Outlays Surge To All Time High [Zero Hedge]
- UK Treasury Relases FOIA On Gordon Brown’s 1998 Gold Sale, Catches Tony Blair Lying, Questions US Treasury’s Good Delivery Standards [Zero Hedge]
- March Records Fastest Ever CMBS Delinquency Deterioration In History According To TREPP [Zero Hedge]
- Bob Herbert: Government is Magic [William Anderson via LRC]
- Robert Gibbs Endorses Denial of Civilian Trials [Glen Greenwald via Salon]
- How a Molesting Case Emerged Decades Later [New York Times]
- Questions for School on Bullying and a Suicide [New York Times]
- Famous Movie Locations: The Overlook Hotel from The Shining (Government Camp, Oregon) [Moviefone]
- Philadelphia Phillies: 10,000 Loses [Will Leitch via Deadspin]
- “Dead” Wrestler of the Week: the Ultimate Warrior [The Masked Man via Deadspin]
- Bernie Carbo was Stoned Out of His Gourd, All the Frickin’ Time [Deadspin]
Santa Baby
(I am a supervisor in a daycare. It is Christmas Eve and a child’s mother has arrived to pick him up.)
Mother: “So, is it okay if I send in his presents with him tomorrow so he can open them here?”
Me: “Tomorrow? It’s Christmas Day tomorrow…we’ll be closed.”
Mother: “What? You’re closed tomorrow? But what am I supposed to do with my kid?”
Me: “Oh, do you have to work tomorrow? That’s unfortunate.”
Mother: “Work tomorrow? No, I booked it off a long time ago. Why are you closed tomorrow? You’re always open!”
Me: “Christmas Day is the only day we’re closed all year.”
Mother: “Well I don’t want him under my feet on Christmas!”
Me: “Um…”
Mother: “You don’t want to baby-sit, do you?”
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