Roundup – Turtle Power

Line O’ the Day:

“They even owe $1.4 million to Mickey Tettleton who retired from baseball in 1997! Now, that’s planning for the future! Actually, that last one might be on George W. Bush, but Tom Hicks (who took over the team in 1998) is the one who gave Alex Rodriguez a $252 million contract, then gave him $67 million of that to go away.” – Dashiell Bennett, Nolan Ryan Buys Texas Rangers (Who Still Owe A-Rod Money by the Way) [Deadspin]

“Dreaming about removing checks and balances to impose a super-genuius policy is not the work of a geopolitical thinker, but the tantrum of an impatient sloganeer.” – Matt Welch, Thomas L. Friedman Wants Us “to be China for a day,” to “authorize the right solutions” [Reason]

“GO CRY IN YOUR VISOR IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT!” – Big Daddy Drew, Coach Ryan Greets the Newbies (Very NSFW language) [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

Best of the Best:

• Man Dressed as Snoopy in Worst Attempted Jail Break Ever [The Telegraph]
• After keeping us waiting for a century, Mark Twain will finally reveal all [The Independent]
• Intern Horrors: A Lengthy Staredown with Barry Bonds [Deadspin]
• The Public Humiliation Diet: a How-to [Big Daddy Drew via Deadspin]
• Arizona Fights Back Against Boycott Threats Due to Immigration law [ABC News]
• San Fran Fed On “Lessons [Un]Learned” From Loss Provisions And Bank Charge-offs [Zero Hedge]
• Revealed: how Israel offered to sell South Africa nuclear weapons [The Guardian]
• A Short History of Crappy Storage [S Tran on Uproxx]
• Monetary Conditions in the U.S. [Acting Man]
• LifeLock’s CEO’s Identity Stolen 13 Times [Wired]
• Charles Krauthammer and Bill O’Reilly on the Columbia, Missouri SWAT Raid Video [Reason]
• U.S. is Said to Expand Secret Operations in the Mideast [New York Times]
• The Absence of the Debate over War [Glenn Greenwald on Salon]
• Up and Away!  World’s Largest Airship Lifts Off for the First Time [The Daily Mail]
• Erin Andrews has Made it After All [Dashiell Bennett on Deadspin]
• “Lost” Finale Got Almost as Many Viewers as “Mr. Belvedere” [Warming Glow]
• Fire John Stossel! [John Stossel's Take]
• Troops to the Mexican Border: Obama to Send 1,200 [Yahoo! News]
• In the 1930s, the US Conducted a Fake War Over the New York Skyline [io9]
• Unexpected Results from World’s Largest Study of Mobile Phone Cancer Risk [Nature via io9]
• Millennia-old Octopus Mystery Solved [Not Exactly Rocket Science via io9]
• Bacteria Can Make You Happier And Smarter [American Society of Microbiology via io9]
• American SWAT Raids Gone Wrong [Cato Institute]
• Excerpt from Top of the Order: a Cleveland Dickweed Repents [Scott Raab via Deadspin]
• Parsing Spain’s “Hot or Not” IMF Review (Hint: “Not”) [Marla Singer on Zero Hedge]
• Cutting Through the Fed’s Bullshit Becoming Far Too Easy [ConvergEx via Zero Hedge]
• Howard Buffett Said “Human Freedom Rests On Gold Redeemable Money”, Called For Return To Gold Standard [Howard Buffet via Zero Hedge]

The Remains:

• US Begins Massive Military Build Up Around Iran, Sending Up To 4 New Carrier Groups In Region [Zero Hedge]
• Mute boy who spoke for first time after being given puppy falls silent after thieves steal pet [Daily Mail]
• NYPD Whistleblower Says He was Forcibly Admitted to a Psych Ward [Reason]
• 3-Year-Old’s Photos on Display in SF [Peta Pixel]
• Hugh Hendry Sees 1920′s Japan-Like Crash In China [Zero Hedge]
• Red Shirt military strategist dies of wounds [The Guardian]
• Bullfight Goes Horribly Right for Bull: Parte Dos (Video) [Deadspin]
• World Cup Profile: USA [The Spoiler via Deadspin]
• A Dog Bit Through This Ultimate Fighter’s Penis [Deadspin]
• Ten Worst Sex Stories We’ve Ever Heard [Jezebel]
• Nyjer Morgan Could Swear He Heard a Whistle [Deadspin]
• Unemployment Rate Correlation with Mortgage Delinquency [The Big Picture]
• Guest Post: Growing Revolutionary Guard Spells Uncertainty For Oil Investors In Iran [Oilprice.com via Zero Hedge]
• Defaults on Apartment Building Loans Set Record for U.S. Banks [Bloomberg]
• Prom Queen in a Dress? Not This Guy This Night [Palm Beach Post]
• Student Comes to His Senseis in the School of Hard Knocks [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Europe’s Deflation Torture is a Gift to the Far Left [The Telegraph]
• Is The Consumer Protection Bill Just One Huge Governmental Subversion Of Privacy Ploy? [Zero Hedge]
• Congratulations! You’ve Only Lost $1 Million Dollars! [The Big Picture]
• North Korea Severs Ties with the South on Ship Sinking [Bloomberg]
• Geithner Urges Europe To Repeat US Stress Test Fraud To Restore “Confidence” In Insolvent Ponzi System [Zero Hedge]
• Case Shiller: the Weakening of Home Prices in Q1 [The Big Picture]
• Morgan Stanley Warns of Deteriorating Liquidity [Zero Hedge]
• In Anticipation of a Run on the Tri-Party Repo System [Zero Hedge]
• Warning: Do Not Taunt Happy Fun Schweizerische Nationalbank [Marla Singer on Zero Hedge]
• Rosenberg On Financial Pundit Chatterboxes And The Best Leading Economic Indicator [David Rosenburg via Zero Hedge]
• America’s Ten Most Corrupt Capitalists [Alternet]
• Is the Dude Using the Printer Watching You Watch Porn? [Big Daddy Drew on Deadspin]
• Movie Review: Avatar 3-D [Joel Grus]
• Infrasound: the Sound to Awesome for Us to Hear [Esther Ingliss-Arkell on io9]
• The Strongest Animal in the World [Physorg]
• How Do Spitting Cobras Spit with Such Accuracy? [Journal of Experimental Biology via io9]
• How to Make a Tempest in a Two-Liter Bottle [io9]
• Did a UFO Just Buzz New Jersey? [io9]
• Tiny Robotic Butterfly is Helping to Reinvent the Airplane [Institute of Physics via io9]
• Glucose biofuel cells could provide sustainable power for human implants [Physorg via io9]
• Scientists discover how matter kicked antimatter’s ass in the ancient universe [io9]
• Cow Manure to Power Internet Data Centers [io9]
• A new kind of supernova defies explanation – but explains our bone structure [Nature via io9]
• Alzheimer’s and Down Syndrome have link you can see in the eyes [io9]
• Welcome to Xanadu, Foam House of the Future [io9]
• Identity of the Mystery Monster Revealed At Last [io9]
• Make a Pair of Glasses from Index Cards [io9]
• Women’s Chess Championship at Machu Picchu [The Telegraph]
• Tampa Bawww: Scribes Cry Foul Over Northeast Super Bowl [Barry Petchesky on Deadspin]
• Last Night’s Winner: the Stupid Zone Defense [Tommy Craggs on Deadspin]
• White House Jester Beheaded for Making Fun of Soaring National Debt [The Onion]
• The Greek Bailout’s Two Secret Exit Clauses: Why Europe Is Now Cheering For Its Own Demise [Zero Hedge]
• Buffett’s 1982 Letter To John Dingell Warns Sternly That US Market Could Become Precisely What It Is Today [Zero Hedge]

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Any opinion expressed here is my own and not that of the firm which employs me.  Under no circumstances should writings or links on this website be taken as a solicitation for an investment or as investment advice.  These topics and commentaries are, whole and entire, for entertainment and discussion purposes only.

Roundup – Weird

Line O’ The Day:

“For shit’s sake, these cars may as well drive down the road in a black catsuit. I don’t hear a hybrid car coming until my head is embedded in the fucking steering wheel, and Ed Begley Jr. in his corn oil Prius there is too busy jerking off to the MPG monitor that he’s not even looking at the road. These cars are silent killers. They’re like Christine, if Christine was an aggressively liberal dipshit.” -Big Daddy Drew, A Special Balls Deep Message to the Class of 2010 [Deadspin]

Best of the Best:

• The Cars of Playboy Playmates [Jalopnik]
• Jupiter Loses a Stripe [io9]
• Portraits in Post-Humanity: Aimee Mullins [Annalee Newitz on io9]
• Zombie Satellite Terrorizing Earth’s Orbit [io9]
• I’m in Alien Ant Farm for the Long Haul [The Onion]
• Mugabe and the White African: the brave film that puts a human face on Zimbabwe’s troubles [The Guardian]
• Euro as Neutron Initiator? [Zero Hedge]
• The Silver Curtain [Zero Hedge]
• On the Pensioning of Roman Veterans [Zero Hedge]
• World Cup Email Scam Promises Most Awesome Party Ever [Deadspin]
• Rigged Market Theory Scores a Perfect Quarter [Jonathan Weil via Bloomberg]
• Last Night’s Winner: Boston Self-Pity [AJ Daulerio on Deadspin]
• Two Very Different Approaches to Honoring Your Contract [Dashiell Bennett on Deadspin]
• Shouldn’t All Priests be Castrated? [Big Daddy Drew via Deadspin]

The Remains:

• Erica Blasberg’s “Very, Very Strange Death” [Deadspin]
• Last Night’s Winner: Congressman Elect Pac-Man [Deadspin]
• Dave Bliss, Terrible Human Being of Note, Now Shaping the Minds of Tomorrow [Deadspin]
• Awesome Track Coach Wins League Championship by Disqualifying Girl for Friendship Bracelet [Dashielle Bennett on Deadspin]
• Sixteen-Year Old Basketball Star Actually 22-Year Old Liar [Deadspin]
• Tim Donaghy’s Bad Beat of the Week: An Ice-Bucket Night in Miami [Deadspin]
• The Life and Death of the Six-Wheeled Race Car [Jalopnik]
• Monster vs. Monster: Greatest Evil Menace Smackdowns of All-Time [io9]
• Creepy Neighborhood Exorcism Caught on Tape [io9]
• How Much Oil Will Be Wasted in the Deepwater Spill? [io9]
• What is the Singularity and will You Live to See it? [Annalee Newitz on io9]
• Columbia, Missouri Police Chief: “I Hate the Internet” [Reason]
• Welfare System Could Cause Israel to Collapse, Economist Warns [Los Angeles Times]
• Australian Waitress to Sell Her Virginity in Las Vegas Live Auction [Fox News]
• “Murdered” Man Reappears After Ten Years [MSNBC]
• Thousands Sterilized in China Population Crackdown [Weird Asia News]
• Tensions High at California High School Following Flag Flap [Fox News]
• Nassim Taleb: “We Are Going To Have, At Some Point, A Failed Auction” [Zero Hedge]
• Is Best Buy Geek Squad Stealing Your Donkey Porn? [Deadspin]
• Last Night’s Winner: Bob Bradley Blamelessness [Barry Petchesky on Deadspin]
• Cavs Go Out with a Whimper [Dashielle Bennett on Deadspin]
• How to Quit Facebook Without Actually Quitting Facebook [Lifehacker]
• Houston Teacher Apologizes for Videotaped Beating [ABC News]
• James Galbraith On Economic Theory As A Disgraced Profession [James Galbraith via Zero Hedge]
• All You Need To Know About HFT: “Sell Everything, And Shutdown”; 4 Years Without A Loss [Zero Hedge]
• FDIC Bank Failures (5.15.10) [The Big Picture]
• China Equities Sink 5%, Down 22 % for the Year; What will China do with its much beloved peg to the US dollar? [Mish's Global Economic Analysis]
• Canada’s Household Debt Reaches Record $42,000 a Person; Fast and Furious Real Estate Decline Coming; Beijing Home Prices Plunge 31.4% [Mish's Global Economic Analysis]
• Email From Canada: It’s Different Up Here – It Really Is! [Mish's Global Economic Analysis]
• Market Cap as a % of GDP [The Big Picture]
• The Field Guide to Cognitive Biases [The Big Picture]
• Guest Post: Lessons From The 80s: Nothing New Under The Sun [Zero Hedge]
• Roubini: “The US Economy Is Unsustainable” [Zero Hedge]
• The Selling Out of Germany [Michael Krieger via Zero Hedge]
• 87-Year Old Dies at Texas Motor Speedway [Chron]
• What to Do with Hanley Ramirez? [Barry Petchesky on Deadspin]
• Knicks to Woo LeBron James with C-List Celebrities [Deadspin]
• Watch The 1972 NBA One-On-One Championship, In All Its Glorious Weirdness [Deadspin]
• Seth Klarman Sees Another Lost Decade For Stocks, “Artificial” Market Reminds Him Of A “Hostess Twinkie” [Zero Hedge with Reuters]
• Ex-Bundesbank Chief Says Greece Will Never Repay Debt, Says Bailout All About “Rescuing Banks And Rich Greeks” [Zero Hedge]

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http://io9.com/5534848/what-is-the-singularity-and-will-you-live-to-see-it

Roundup – Win the Lottery!

Best of the Best:

• Heed My Lessons, Fellow Favre-Watchers [Christmas Ape via KSK]
• The World Needs More Ruined Weddings [Big Daddy Drew via Deadspin]
• By Virtue, Not by Force: are the White Boys of Lacrosse Destined to be Dicks? [Katie Baker via Deadspin]
• Airline Pilot Cleared of Role in 9/11 After “9 Years of Hell” [The Guardian]
• Ghost Estates Testify to Irish Boom and Bust [BBC News]
• LA Police Hunt Man with “Bourne-like” Identity [Raw Story]
• Man Claims to Have Had No Food or Drink in the Last 70 years [The Telegraph]
• Video of SWAT Raid on Missouri Family [Reason]
• CMBS Delinquencies Hit Fresh Record, Now At $51 Billion, 268% Increase From Prior Year [Zero Hedge]
• China Hikes RRR, Faber Sees China Crash in 9-12 Months [Zero Hedge]
• Scientists Discover Giant Asteroid Covered in Ice [io9]
• The 2,000 Year Old Mystery Circle Discovered in Downtown Miami [io9]
• Why Do Stones Skip Across Water? [io9]
• Patriots Stand Up Middle Schoolers [Deadspin]
• CBS Almost Paid ESPN to Take NCAA Tourney Off Their Hands [Deadspin]
• The Real History of John Dillinger and Henry Ford [Jalopnik]
• Fake +290K Payrolls “Added”, Real Number Is 36K After Census And Birth-Death, Unemployment Goes Back To 9.9%, Underemployment At 17.1% [Zero Hedge]
• Miami University had the Pukiest, Poopiest, Sexiest Spring Formal Ever [Deadspin]
• Why are There Three Suns in the Sky? [io9]
• In Defense of Pit Bulls [Matt Robison via LRC]

The Remains:

• The (Potential) Intern from Hell [Gawker]
• Man Stabs 29 Kids in Kindergarten in China [MSNBC]
• Hyundai Loses $1.8 Million Lawsuit Because of Seats that Recline Too Far [AutoBlog]
• China Says Diplomat Beaten by Houston Police [MSNBC]
• [Black] Man Wearing an Adolf Hitler T-Shirt Robs Oklahoma City Convenience Store [NewsOK]
• US Says it has 5,113 Nuclear Warheads [Yahoo!]
• Unnatural Selection: Darwin’s Family Damaged by Inbreeding [Times Online]
• I’m Just Asking Questions, Part 23 [Reason]
• New Light Shed on Kent State Killings [Washington Times]
• The Limits of Policy [David Brooks via New York Times]
• A Hockey Trucking to End All Hockey Truckings [Deadspin]
• If It Smells Like a Funding Crisis and Looks Like a Funding Crisis… [Zero Hedge]
• Greek Rescue Package Insufficient, Will Need More Money [Zero Hedge]
• Treasury Refunding Upside “Surprise”, Q2 Borrowing Higher Than Previous Estimate By $71 Billion, Sees September Debt Of $13.6 Trillion [Zero Hedge]
• Savings Rate Declines By 10% As Spending Once Again Outstrips Income, Which In Turn Is 70% Transfer Payments [Zero Hedge]
• Secret Project Underway to Halt Global Warming with Geoenigneering [io9]
• Homosexual Schomosexual [Nerve]
• Is Revenge Jerking a Legal Right? [Big Daddy Drew via Deadspin]
• The Cover-up: BP’s Crude Politics And The Looming Environmental Mega-Disaster [OilPrice.com via Zero Hedge]
• Don’t Worry, We Added Some Rape Just to Spice It Up: the KSK Sex/Fantasy Football Mailbag [Captain Cavemen via KSK]
• Downward Spiral: Washington Redskins owner Dan Synder’s Amusing Failure at Six Flags [Slate]
• Dissecting the Crash [Dan Hinckley and Dan O'Brien via Zero Hedge]
• Evidence Mounts for Taliban Role in Bomb Plot [New York Times]
• MUST HEAR: Panic And Loathing From The S&P 500 Pits [Zero Hedge]
• Why E. Coli is Better than Your Computer [Kotaku]
• Laser Creates Clouds Over Germany [New Scientist]
• Soccer Player Gets Carded for Fatal Heart Attack [Deadspin]
• Gabrielle Union Got It On in Front of Dwyane Wade’s Kids [Deadspin]
• Last Night’s Winner: Philadelphia Bloodlust [Deadspin]
• Reinhart Squared: Is The US Too Big To Fail? (Must Read) [Zero Hedge]
• The Smoking Gun Document That Could Terminate George Papandreou’s Career [Zero Hedge]
• The European Crisis in Eight Simple Charts [Zero Hedge]
• Moody’s Receives Wells Notice, SEC To Commence “Cease & Desist” Proceedings Against Rating Agency [Zero Hedge]
• Bob Bronson: Q1 GDP Overstates Business Cycle Growth [The Big Picture]
• Origin of Wall Street’s Plunge Continues to Elude Officials [New York Times]
• Hooters Sponsors Youth Aussie Rules Football Team, Outrage is Palpable [Deadspin]
• Meredith Whitney: First quarter bank earnings are due to marking up assets, not fundamentals [Credit Writedowns]
• A List Of Jason’s Body Count From The (Watchable) Friday The 13th Movies [io9]
• This Cave House was Built by a Cow. Seriously. [io9]
• Save on Hospital Bills, X-Ray Yourself with Sticky Tape [Esther Inglis-Arkell via io9]
• Potraits in Posthumanity: Steve Mann [Annalee Newitz via io9]
• Greatest Fossil Fuel Disasters in Human History [Charlie Jane Andrews via io9]
• Scientist Gets One Billion Pages on One Chip [Thinq]
• Inexpensive Metal Catalyst Discovered for Electrolytic Production of Hydrogen from Water [Gizmag]
• At Front Lines, AIDS War is Falling Apart [New York Times]
• Ken Griffey and Keith Hernandez, Together in Mid-Game Slumber [Deadspin]
• Potato Chip Add Manages to Titillate, Enrage Island Nation [Deadspin]
• Cavs Offer to Lebron Wins the Weekend [Deadspin]
• MPAA Going Big Brother All Over Your Ass [FilmDrunk]

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Treasury Refunding Upside “Surprise”, Q2 Borrowing Higher Than Previous Estimate By $71 Billion, Sees September Debt Of $13.6 Trillion