Originally created 3/10/2008
In damn near every sci-fi flick, our heroes inevitably come upon the deus ex machina that is the “self-destruct” button. The button is often big and red with letters in serious white block print advertising that this is in fact a device that will destroy the entire mothership/military base/alien prison/evil corporation’s headquarters. As brought up by Gregg Easterbrook in a different milieu, why exactly would an intergalactic starcruiser even have switch that would blow up ship? What possible purpose does that serve? When did Hamas start building spaceships? Presently, a safety scandal can roil a car company for years and become a symbol for corporate callousness. In the future, engineers must create an exquisite fuel-efficient hovercraft with laser cannons and kickass stereo system and be just about ready to roll it out onto the showroom floor when one of them looks at the other says, “Wait, wait. Bob, we forgot something.”
“What’s that, Dave?”
“The huge glowing what?”
“Cock. No, Dave, you fucking idiot, the huge glowing self-destruct button.”
Dave slaps his head. “Of course. Man, would we have been embarrassed when we started getting calls about how this thing was really nice but where was the button to ignite yourself into a 300 mph fireball?”
“Totally. I just hope no one with a two year old drives this thing around. Bad enough when your kid accidentally logs onto the internet and buys hentai porn, we don’t want junior to send mommy and daddy off the rails on a crazy train after he kicks the suicide button by mistake while listening to a Rafi 3000 album.”
One wonders if it is any less reckless to have or regard a word in the English language in much the same manner. For anyone who is not African-American, that word is obviously “nigger”. Rarely has a word ever embodied the maliciousness of racism that it could de facto end careers if used by a certain race in these more enlightened times.Vodpod videos no longer available.
Use Of ‘N-Word’ May End Porn Star’s Career
The Michael Richards episode from a comedy club of a while back exemplifies this sentiment. However just his punishment was in the court of public opinion (or that of Don Imus) one might think it was, one also has to wonder if the same sentence would have been meted out to those who used the same sort slur towards other races. If a black comedian had started calling some audience members crackers in the same tone and manner, would the retribution have been as swift and unforgiving? Would white people have taken offense in the same manner?
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Do the curses such as chinks, spics, nips or dago elicit the same sort of response, even from members of the race when they hear it? Is there just one sure fire self-destruct button nowadays in the English language, greater than saying “unholy titfuck” than all other racial slurs combined (“you mother-whoring mick wop nip spic-sucking lying chink”)? Does “nigger” supersede all—the only real unprotected exhaust vents in the Death Star of modern communication?
Moreover, the fact that African-Americans can use the word with impunity (or so it seems at the moment) is curious because it can lead to some strange confusion and almost a double standard. If a certain person where to use it on the radio and it was assumed he was white, he might be vilified unless it was discovered he was actually black. This was exquisitely parodied on the Dave Chappelle show a few years back with Clayton Bigsby, the black white supremacist.
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A tangential example in the real world of words becoming a good deal more powerful when said by a particular person occurred in a marriage where a husband and wife both cheated—with each other: “A Bosnian couple are getting divorced after finding out they had been secretly chatting each other up online under fake names. Sana Klaric, 27, and husband Adnan, 32, from Zenica, poured out their hearts to each other over their marriage troubles, and both felt they had found their real soul mate. The couple met on an online chat forum while he was at work and she in an internet cafe, and started chatting under the names Sweetie and Prince of Joy. They eventually decided to meet up – but there was no happy ending when they realised what had happened. Now they are both filing for divorce – with each accusing the other of being unfaithful.”
Has it ever been the acme of wisdom for a group to adopt a slur against it in order to lessen the epithet’s supposed power? Certainly that has seemed the tactic with “nigger” but few, if any, other races or groups have undertaken a similar practice. One doesn’t see the mentally handicapped greeting one another with a hearty “what’s up, my ‘tard?”, possibly because such an occurrence would immolate the unintentional comedy scale of “so awful it’s funny”. Asians, various white ethnic groups, Hispanics; none seem to have taken their own slurs to the supposedly logically conclusion. If anything, certain members of this or that race might use the slurs to attack supposedly lower class members of their own race, almost like a linguistic caste system. Whites often engage in this form of slur with the words “white trash”, the aforementioned “cracker”, “redneck” or, if you’re in St. Louis, “hoosier” (although I have heard individuals proudly refer to themselves as “hoosiers”).
Finally, if hypocrisy knows no bounds, then this author is certainly well within its own territories. One only needs to examine how I sign the end of the article.
Some presidents are defined by wars, by incompetence, by scandal or by nothing in particular. Others are defined by giant swimming rabbits.
On April 20th, 1979, “on a fishing trip in Plains, Georgia, President Carter had an encounter with a ‘swamp rabbit’. This seemingly trivial event was seized upon by the press and became a sort of Rorschach test of the Carter presidency: reporters and commentators saw in this story whatever they wanted to see in Carter’s administration.”
Rockwell Knuckles. Speaking of dropping n-bombs and getting away with it, this particular rap artist hails from north city St. Louis and was recently featured in the RFT. Having listened to some of his stuff, it’s not bad. Also, his sobriquet sounds like some psycho rodent that fought alongside Sonic the Hedgehog. That’ll do, Rockwell. That’ll do. To download some mp3s. The gentleman’s MySpace page. “We build robots!”
This Week’s Stephen Colbert’s Guitarmageddon Toss of the Gauntlet:
THE CLASSICS It’s Stevie Ray Vaughn day today and similar to Jimi, this was an artist who fused blues with country and Southern rock to produce a wholly different sound. Also like Jimi, SRV died well before his time (he also tended to wear gypsy-ish clothes like Jimi). Here he is covering Jimi’s own “Voodoo Chile”:
Obligatory Jimi Jam – Since we’ve already covered a host of Jimi songs (and in keeping with an interesting dialogue between races), we’re going to go with an interview with Jimi by Dick Cavett. See if you can top this quote: “Do you consider yourself a disciplined guy? Do you get up everyday and work?” “Well, I try to get up everyday”. Sadly, one day, Jimi did not wake up:
Double Black Diamond: It’s questionable whether “Voodoo Chile” or “Little Wing” is the more difficult song, but since this an entire instrumental by SRV, I would have to go with this:
For acoustic guitar fun: SRV performs an unparalleled acoustic version of “Pride and Joy”:
If You Don’t Like This Video, I Don’t Like You:
Optimus Prime Does the Evolution of Dane (would have better if they had been able to do the whole thing):
Then of course there is a bride and groom creating an evolution of dance of sorts for their first dance (NSFW advertisements).
SIGNED: MCWOP, FAIT A ST. LOUIS, 3/10/08