29
Jul
09

Roundup – Ce Soir

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Line o’ the Day:

6. Ice Cream Sandwich. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. Ice cream sandwiches are fucking tremendous, but the only bad part of eating them is when you’re finished and it looks like you just went three fingers deep inside someone else’s asshole. Little children are also vulnerable to the dreaded Ice Cream Sandwich Sanchez, in which the chocolate part of the sandwich gets encrusted around your mouth, giving you that freshly administered Rusty Trombone look.

16. Dippin Dots. You see Dippin Dots in ice cream trucks now, along with baseball stadiums, beach towns, and everywhere else. They’re fucking retarded. Oooh, it’s the ice cream of the FUTURE! In the future, all food comes in pellet form! Now I know how it feels to be a goat in a petting zoo. Get fucked, Dippin Dots. I’ll take my ice cream in non-ball bearing form.” [Big Daddy Drew via Deadspin]

Best of the Best:

NEWISCANE:

Finishing Quote:

“Munk asked the hedge fund manager to look at Harvard’s finances and assess the extent to which its endowment will be able to keep pace with its immovable costs. The hedge fund manager’s conclusion: ‘They are completely fucked.’” [Vanity Fair on Harvard’s endowment troubles]

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