29
Aug
09

Roundup – Ernest

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Line O’ the Day:

NOOOO!!! NAWT YOU, SENATAH KENNEDY! WHY AHHHH WE THE ONLY ONES SADDLED WITH SUCH SUDDEN LAWSSES?!!!

THIS IS A STOMACH PUNCH DEATH!

You people from othah faggot states don’t get it. He may have been a drunk who let a garl die, but he was OW-UH drunk who let a garl fackin’ DIE! You can’t appreciate the history this man had with his votah base! We lifted him up! If it had nawt been far the LEGENDARY BAWSTON VOTAHS, that highway bill nevah would have passed! FACKIN’ CHAHHHHLES SCHUMAH WOULD HAVE FACKED IT UP!

/drinks six pack of Cider Jack

AH, CIDAHHHHH!

/drowns girl

FACK YOU!

[Kissing Suzy Kolber]

Bloomberg:

Deadspin – Why Your Team Sucks:

Flying News Monster:

“I wish I could have been there in person.  I would have won Mary-Louise’s love by murdering Paul Shaffer.  Hey, it worked for John Hinckley, right?  No?  I thought he ended up with Jodie Foster?  A lesbian?  Really?  Huh.  What a waste of an assassination attempt.” [Warming Glow]

Leaked e-mail shows how GE puts the government to work for GE

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