30
Dec
09

Post-Holiday Roundup – A Klingon Christmas Carol

Line O’ the Day:

Even if you weren’t naming him after a sports team, Brewer is a fucking stupid name. According to the Baby Name Wizard, it belongs squarely in the category of trendy, workman-style names that so many stupid white people are giving their children these days: Porter, Cooper, Ranger, Banker, Magic-User, Taxidermist, and so on. And why Brewer Wynn? The Brewers don’t win. If anything, the child should be named Brewer Sheetdebed Jones, or something like that.  If your hubby likes the Brewers so much, and you don’t want the kid to grow up getting pinned down in the schoolyard and drooled on, you should name the kid Paul. Or name him Prince and feed him nothing but scrapple and corn dog batter. Don’t name him Brewer. He’ll end up playing lacrosse and fisting passed out sorority girls. Just last week, I found out a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend named their son Hedges. Fucvking Hedges. And the kid doesn’t even have a brother named Benson. It’s an epidemic of dipshit white person baby names. Kwinsee Pittsnogle weeps for the future.” – Big Daddy Drew, The Mailbag Demands You Name the Brewer Baby [Deadspin]

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