10
Jan
10

Roundup – New Year’s Afterbirth

Line O’ the Day:

Jerry: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP. I’m not done congratulating myself yet! You know, Mammy, a lot of people said the Double J was wrong to hire your fat ass. They said you were a loser. They said you couldn’t win in the playoffs. They said you were fucking fat. REALLY fucking fat. “Butter the bus seat” fat. They said you spent too much time in your office fucking banana peels…

Wade: I don’t remember anyone saying that.

Jerry: I did. BUT LOOK AT YOUR FAT ASS NOW! I have taken a fat, slobbering, wastoid of a human being and made him into a December winner! You and your flabby FUPA drippings have proven that the Double J can make a STAR out of any coach! Fuck, I could make that shit dog over there into Vince Lombardi if I chose!

Wade: Roscoe?

Jerry: You named him Roscoe? That’s the name of a fat man’s dog, if I ever heard it!

– Big Daddy Drew, I Deserve a Raise that Does Not Involve Free Sausage [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

Best of the Best:

The Remains:

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