Posts Tagged ‘filmdrunk

01
Aug
13

Roundup – LASER MASTER

Line O’ the Day:

I can picture you two engineering the whole scheme from Patriots headquarters:

JOSH MCDANIELS: Tebow is a special player, boss! He GETS it. He fits right in with the PATRIOT WAY of doing business. I’m still a genius for drafting him—it’s just that no one realizes it yet!

YOU: GRUMBLE GRUMBLE GRUMBLE I’LL MAKE HIM USEFUL AND THEN I’LL BANG HIS MOM GRUMBLE GRUMBLE.

JIM NANTZ: (busts through the door) Hello, friends. Would either of you care for a civilized, dignified handjob?

– Big Daddy Drew, “Fuck You, Bill Belichick” [Deadspin]

Best of the Best:

Happy 27th Anniversary of Ferris Bueller: A Few Words About Ferris in the Internet Age [Vince Mancini on FilmDrunk]

I get nostalgic about Ferris Bueller because I miss that ideal of cool, when coolness wasn’t wrapped up in a label, and it could happen to you if you were just a clever smooth talker who was nice to people. (Before I go any further, I should probably acknowledge that I’ve opened the door to a rebuttal article here about how Ferris could only have been Ferris because of white privilege. There’s definitely some truth to that, so point conceded, it just doesn’t seem that constructive or interesting). Everything seems to have broken off into warring factions now, and Ferris Bueller harkens back to a time when a hero could be neither “bro” nor “nerd” (though I’m sure both groups would try to claim him).

Behind the ‘Internet of Things’ Is Android—and It’s Everywhere [Ashlee Vance on Bloomberg Businessweek]

Philip DesAutels, the vice president for technology at Xively, a just-launched cloud computing service that simplifies the work needed to get a device to transmit data, has studied the Internet of things for years. He says there are five times as many downloads of Xively’s Android-specific software as there are of its software made for Apple’s iOS. His favorite product: an Android-based agricultural irrigation system where a network of tiny, waterproof computers in the field regulates water valves. “With Android, you get something that is power-efficient, it’s easy for developers to do the user interface and touch controls, and it’s easy to get data in and out,” DesAutels says. “There’s just a bigger community behind it than with anything else.” Android’s rise is bad for Microsoft, which has been releasing a no-frills operating system of its own since 1996. Windows Embedded, as it’s known these days, is in Ford cars, NCR cash registers, and other products. But just as it did with smartphones and tablets, Microsoft seems to have mistimed and miscalculated its approach. “We have zero requests for Microsoft,” DesAutels says. He adds that he’s hearing from plenty of companies that want to make smart pedometers, Net-connected LED lighting, and other devices that work with iPhones and iPads. Chances are those peripherals will run on Android or something even simpler, DesAutels says, because Apple seems uninterested in letting iOS run non-Apple products. Apple declined to comment.

Pain & Gain [Pete Collins on The Miami Herald, December 1999]

Miami businessman Marc Schiller disappeared from his Schlotzsky’s Deli franchise in mid-November 1994. A month later, recovering from massive injuries at Jackson Memorial Hospital, he called private investigator Ed Du Bois. For weeks, he said, he’d been chained to a wall and tortured in unspeakable ways. He’d been forced to sign away his house, his investments, his bank accounts, his life insurance. In the end the kidnappers tried to kill him, and they nearly succeeded. Although blindfolded during the ordeal, he recognized one of his captors: a former business partner, a protégé. Help me, he begged Du Bois. He wanted his house back; he needed his money. But most important, he had to make sure they wouldn’t find him and finish the job.

How Do You Say Shaolin in Sign Language? Meet the interpreter who has signed for the Wu-Tang Clan, Killer Mike, and the Beastie Boys. [Amy K. Nelson on Slate]

Kat Murphy is a 30-year-old Memphis native who is hearing-impaired; she can hear beats but not words. Along with her boyfriend, Melvin, who is “profoundly deaf,” Murphy was at Bonnaroo and attended both the Wu-Tang and Killer Mike shows. She witnessed Maniatty’s interactions with both rappers. “It was amazing,” she said. “She didn’t skip a beat or allow it to sidetrack her” when Method Man came calling. Unfamiliar with Killer Mike before the show, she left thinking he “was the most deaf-friendly artist and he really incorporated the interpreters into his performance. We are his new fans.” Until Bonnaroo, it never occurred to Killer Mike that he had deaf fans; he left the show “honored” to have someone like Maniatty interpreting him. “You wonder how they can even keep up,” he says. “That’s an art form; that’s more than just a technical skill.”

Writer’s Room: Scenes We Never Want to See Again [Robopanda via Filmdrunk]

Here’s the scene: someone from a city is in a rural area. Suddenly, a rural person is out to get them. Why? I don’t know. He Who Walks Behind The Rows demanded it? A city person bankrupted the plaid shirt factory? Madness caused by too much fresh air and affordable rents? There was a sale on creepy masks and butcher knives? I grew up with a cornfield in my backyard, and I’m still wondering when the urge to kill randos from the coasts is going to kick in. Starting to think He Who Walks Behind The Rows may just be a fat guy named Roger who’s still making payments on his combine. Do you really want to know what us “flyover state” folks think about people from the coasts? Nothing. Which is why there’s no term as popular or as spiteful as “flyover states” that rural people are slanging about city people.

The Fraud of the Prince of Poyais [Dr. Bryan Taylor, Chief Economist of Global Financial Data via The Big Picture]

As amazing as it may seem, the Legation of Poyais chartered two boats to take settlers to Poyais. Why they would take this risk, knowing that the settlers would discover the truth about Poyais once they arrived, staggers the imagination, but perhaps the fraudster had started to believe his own fraud. On September 10, 1822, the Honduras Packet departed from London with 70 settlers including doctors, lawyers and a banker. On January 22, 1823, the Kennersley Castle left Leith Harbour in Scotland with almost 200 settlers. When they arrived in Poyais, the settlers, some of whom had risked their life savings, found an uninhabitable jungle that had more tropical diseases than silver and gold. Of the original 240 settlers who reached Poyais, only 60 survived. The rest died.

Why Are Hollywood Movies So Long? [Alex Mayyasi on Priceonomics]

It seems that the potential savings from reducing the length of a movie are large enough to stoke interest but meager enough to be ceded to the lure of the Oscars and salving directors’ egos and artistic desires. We can understand why directors would choose to make long films from our own reluctance to cut down on our own articles that go on for thousands of words. And although succinct stories are often better than bloated ones, the perception of a bias in favor of long movies at the Oscars strikes us as sound – similar to the bias people hold by thinking that heavier products are of better quality.

Information wants to be expensive [Felix Salmon on Reuters]

Or to put it another way: back when it was founded, in the 1930s, it made sense for the SEC to try to enforce a “fair” market where all men could trade on a level playing field. But those days are over now, and they’re never coming back. Everybody knows that hedge funds and institutional investors have access to massive amounts of information, on top of high-level access to executives; everybody knows that high-frequency traders can move much more quickly than any individual. If you want to go up against these people in the trading arena, all power to you — but don’t expect the SEC to be able to ensure that it’s a fair fight. Instead, individual investors should play to their strengths, which include the ability to take a long view and not feel any need to mark to market, or to worry about quarterly performance returns. They can make long-term investments without worrying about short-term performance, and — thanks in large part to the rise of high-frequency trading — they can get truly spectacular execution at NBBO at any time they want it. Sometimes, data will cause stocks to move — all individual investors know that, and if they have their priorities straight, they won’t particularly care when that move takes place. But from a public-policy perspective, the market in data is a good thing, which should be encouraged: the more data there is, and the higher the quality of that data, the better that the economy is served by the market. The institutions providing this data are performing an important public service, and being paid for it from private-sector funds. Let’s celebrate that, rather than demonizing them.

Snowden Backlash: US Media Get Personal [Marc Pitzke on Der Spiegel]

In his broadside against Snowden and Snowden’s press contacts, Pincus was going along with both the government and the zeitgeist. A growing number of mainstream media outlets have been focusing their criticism on the leakers — Snowden in Moscow, Greenwald in Rio — instead of the content of their leaks. American headlines aren’t being dominated by the latest details of the seemingly endless scandal, but by the men who brought them to light. This began at the Post when Snowden, before contacting Greenwald, offered his secrets to security reporter Barton Gellman. Gellman quickly discredited Snowden as “capable of melodrama,” partly because of his uncompromising terms. Since then Snowden hasn’t provided any more revelations to the paper.

Zimmerman’s lawyer calls prosecutors ‘disgrace’ to profession [Chris Francescani on Reuters]

[Special prosecutor Angela Corey’s] office confirmed last week that it had fired its information technology director, Ben Kruidbos, who had testified in a pre-trial hearing that files he created with text messages and images he retrieved from Martin’s phone were not handed to the defense. Kruidbos testified last month that he found embarrassing photos on Martin’s phone that included pictures of a clump of jewelry on a bed, underage nude females, marijuana plants and a hand holding a semi-automatic pistol.

The Decline in Male Fertility: Scientists Puzzle Over Declining Sperm Counts; a ‘Crisis’ or Not Enough Data? [Shirley S. Wang on The Wall Street Journal]

Are today’s young men less fertile than their fathers were? It’s a controversy in the fertility field, with some experts raising the alarm over what some are calling a “sperm crisis” because they believe men’s sperm counts have been decreasing for a decade or more. Experts here for the European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology annual conference last week debated the issue for an entire day. One recent analysis found that in France, the sperm concentration of men decreased by nearly one-third between 1989 and 2005. Most but not all studies from several European nations with large databases and the ability to track health records have found that over the past 15 years or so, the counts of healthy men ages 18 to 25 have significantly decreased. This comes after a prominent study from the 1990s suggested that sperm count has decreased by half over the last half-century. Many experts questioned the validity of those findings. There are huge variations in results by country and region. Certain areas, especially in the developing world, haven’t been studied at all. In the U.S., some historical data suggest a decrease in sperm count among American men, but no published recent data exist.

Your Mid-Week Guide To DVD And Streaming: An Awkward Sexual Adventure With G.I. Joe [Morton Salt via FilmDrunk]

This 2011 film isn’t just a relatively recent Kate Bosworth film you haven’t seen, it’s a Ellen Barkin/Ezra Miller/Ellen Burstyn/Demi Moore/Thomas Haden Church film you haven’t seen, and it’s written and directed by Barry Levinson’s son if that spices up the sauce for you.  I kind of want to see this, if only to see Ellen Barkin and Ellen Burstyn on screen together.  The only thing better would be if there were a movie in which Bill Paxton and Dermot Mulroney played buddy cops trying to catch partners-in-crime Bill Pullman and Dylan McDermott. Also, because f*ck it, I’ve gone off topic a bit, throw in our pal Kate Bosworth as the woman in the middle.  Like she’s Paxton’s daughter and Mulroney’s wife, but she’s also cheating with Pullman while McDermott watches from the foot of the bed, because that seems like something his character would do.

Curiously Strong Remains:

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The content on this site is provided as general information and entertainment only and should not be taken as investment advice. All site content shall not be construed as a recommendation to buy or sell any security or financial product, or to participate in any particular trading or investment strategy. The ideas expressed on this site are solely the opinions of the author and do not necessarily represent the opinions of firms affiliated with the author. The author may or may not have a position in any security referenced herein and may or may not seek to do business with companies mentioned via this website. Any action that you take as a result of information or analysis on this site is ultimately your responsibility. Consult your investment adviser before making any investment decisions.

01
Nov
12

Roundup – Beer Chase

Line O’ the Day:

“For me, if I have a bar epiphany, it’s usually about four o’clock in the afternoon, before the evening crowd comes in. It’s usually the daytime guys sitting there, they know the bartender, maybe there’s a jukebox, maybe there isn’t. The sun’s sort of getting low in the sky and coming in through the window, you’ve got the dust motes floating over the bar. It’s what I call that sort of golden Tom Waits drinking hour.”

– Anthony Bourdain, Top 5 Bars [via Food & Wine]

Best of the Best:

Classic Armond White: Praising Resident Evil by bashing Scorsese, The Master [Vince Mancini on FilmDrunk]

[Armond White] references a completely relevant essay, the subject of which is basically that the best art is created by those who weren’t setting out to create their culture’s conception of “great art,” but he uses it to drive home a point about how a fivequel about future zombies is better than The Master. It’s like he’s trying to light a broken cigarette with a shotgun.

Iran Cleric Pummeled by ‘Badly Covered’ Woman After Warning [Ladane Nasseri on Bloomberg]

Hojatoleslam Ali Beheshti said he encountered the woman in the street while on his way to the mosque in the town of Shahmirzad, and asked her to cover herself up, to which she replied “you, cover your eyes,” according to Mehr. The cleric repeated his warning, which he said prompted her to insult and push him.

Unlike Afghan leaders, Obama fights for power of indefinite military detention [Glenn Greenwald on The Guardian]

[M]any Americans, particularly in the age of Obama, are content to assume that anyone whom the US government accuses of being a terrorist should, for that reason alone, be assumed to be guilty, and as a result, any punishment the president decides to dole out – indefinite imprisonment, summary execution – is warranted and just; no bothersome, obsolete procedures such as “trials” or “indictments” are necessary.

Warp Drive May Be More Feasible Than Thought, Scientists Say [Clara Moskowitz on SPACE.com via Yahoo! News]

With this concept, the spacecraft would be able to achieve an effective speed of about 10 times the speed of light, all without breaking the cosmic speed limit. The only problem is, previous studies estimated the warp drive would require a minimum amount of energy about equal to the mass-energy of the planet Jupiter. But recently White calculated what would happen if the shape of the ring encircling the spacecraft was adjusted into more of a rounded donut, as opposed to a flat ring. He found in that case, the warp drive could be powered by a mass about the size of a spacecraft like the Voyager 1 probe NASA launched in 1977. Furthermore, if the intensity of the space warps can be oscillated over time, the energy required is reduced even more, White found.

Jesus’ Wife Mentioned on Fourth-Century Papyrus Fragment [Elizabeth Lopatto on Bloomberg]

The fragment likely is authentic, based on the papyrus and handwriting, Roger Bagnall, director of the Institute for the Study of the Ancient World in New York said in a statement from Harvard. Early Christians didn’t agree about whether they should marry or remain celibate, and the earliest claim Jesus didn’t marry is from 200 A.D., King said…Only women were identified in terms of family relationships, as someone’s sister, mother, or wife, King said. The question of whether Jesus married came up later when people wanted to use him as a model for their lives, she said.

Video shows Libyans helping rescue U.S. ambassador after attack [Suleiman Al-Khalidi on Reuters]

The footage also sheds new light on the circumstances of the ambassador’s death, apparently showing for the first time that some of the people who forced their way into the U.S. compound later tried to rescue Stevens after they found him lying alone, with no security detail, in one of the rooms in the building.

Local Cops Ready for War With Homeland Security-Funded Military Weapons [Andrew Becker on The Daily Beast]

The buying spree has transformed local police departments into small, army-like forces, and put intimidating equipment into the hands of civilian officers. And that is raising questions about whether the strategy has gone too far, creating a culture and capability that jeopardizes public safety and civil rights while creating an expensive false sense of security.

The split brain: A tale of two halves [David Wolman on Nature]

In work that began in 2009, the researchers presented two split-brain patients with a series of stories, each of which involved either accidental or intentional harm. The aim was to find out whether the patients felt that someone who intends to poison his boss but fails because he mistakes sugar for rat poison, is on equal moral ground with someone who accidentally kills his boss by mistaking rat poison for sugar. (Most people conclude that the former is more morally reprehensible.) The researchers read the stories aloud, which meant that the input was directed to the left hemisphere, and asked for verbal responses, so that the left hemisphere, guided by the interpreter mechanism, would also create and deliver the response. So could the split-brain patients make a conventional moral judgement using just that side of the brain? No. The patients reasoned that both scenarios were morally equal. The results suggest that both sides of the cortex are necessary for this type of reasoning task. But this finding presents an additional puzzle, because relatives and friends of split-brain patients do not notice unusual reasoning or theory-of-mind deficits. Miller’s team speculates that, in everyday life, other reasoning mechanisms may compensate for disconnection effects that are exposed in the lab. It’s an idea that he plans to test in the future.

The Behavioral Sink [Will Wiles via Cabinet]

In 1972, John B. Calhoun detailed the specifications of his Mortality-Inhibiting Environment for Mice: a practical utopia built in the laboratory. Every aspect of Universe 25—as this particular model was called—was pitched to cater for the well-being of its rodent residents and increase their lifespan. The Universe took the form of a tank, 101 inches square, enclosed by walls 54 inches high. The first 37 inches of wall was structured so the mice could climb up, but they were prevented from escaping by 17 inches of bare wall above. Each wall had sixteen vertical mesh tunnels—call them stairwells—soldered to it. Four horizontal corridors opened off each stairwell, each leading to four nesting boxes. That means 256 boxes in total, each capable of housing fifteen mice. There was abundant clean food, water, and nesting material. The Universe was cleaned every four to eight weeks. There were no predators, the temperature was kept at a steady 68°F, and the mice were a disease-free elite selected from the National Institutes of Health’s breeding colony. Heaven…So what exactly happened in Universe 25? Past day 315, population growth slowed. More than six hundred mice now lived in Universe 25, constantly rubbing shoulders on their way up and down the stairwells to eat, drink, and sleep. Mice found themselves born into a world that was more crowded every day, and there were far more mice than meaningful social roles. With more and more peers to defend against, males found it difficult and stressful to defend their territory, so they abandoned the activity. Normal social discourse within the mouse community broke down, and with it the ability of mice to form social bonds. The failures and dropouts congregated in large groups in the middle of the enclosure, their listless withdrawal occasionally interrupted by spasms and waves of pointless violence. The victims of these random attacks became attackers. Left on their own in nests subject to invasion, nursing females attacked their own young. Procreation slumped, infant abandonment and mortality soared. Lone females retreated to isolated nesting boxes on penthouse levels. Other males, a group Calhoun termed “the beautiful ones,” never sought sex and never fought—they just ate, slept, and groomed, wrapped in narcissistic introspection. Elsewhere, cannibalism, pansexualism, and violence became endemic. Mouse society had collapsed.

We’re Underestimating the Risk of Human Extinction [Ross Anderson Interviews Nick Bostrom on The Atlantic]

The simulation argument addresses whether we are in fact living in a simulation as opposed to some basement level physical reality. It tries to show that at least one of three propositions is true, but it doesn’t tell us which one. Those three are: 1) Almost all civilizations like ours go extinct before reaching technological maturity. 2) Almost all technologically mature civilizations lose interest in creating ancestor simulations: computer simulations detailed enough that the simulated minds within them would be conscious.  3) We’re almost certainly living in a computer simulation.

The full argument requires sophisticated probabilistic reasoning, but the basic argument is fairly easy to grasp without resorting to mathematics. Suppose that the first proposition is false, which would mean that some significant portion of civilizations at our stage eventually reach technological maturity. Suppose that the second proposition is also false, which would mean that some significant fraction of those (technologically mature) civilizations retain an interest in using some non-negligible fraction of their resources for the purpose of creating these ancestor simulations. You can then show that it would be possible for a technologically mature civilization to create astronomical numbers of these simulations. So if this significant fraction of civilizations made it through to this stage where they decided to use their capabilities to create these ancestor simulations, then there would be many more simulations created than there are original histories, meaning that almost all observers with our types of experiences would be living in simulations. Going back to the observation selection effect, if almost all kinds of observers with our kinds of experiences are living in simulations, then we should think that we are living in a simulation, that we are one of the typical observers, rather than one of the rare, exceptional basic level reality observers. The connection to existential risk is twofold. First, the first of those three possibilities, that almost all civilizations like ours go extinct before reaching technological maturity obviously bears directly on how much existential risk we face. If proposition 1 is true then the obvious implication is that we will succumb to an existential catastrophe before reaching technological maturity. The other relationship with existential risk has to do with proposition 3: if we are living in a computer simulation then there are certain exotic ways in which we might experience an existential catastrophe which we wouldn’t fear if we are living in basement level physical reality. The simulation could be shut off, for instance. Or there might be other kinds of interventions in our simulated reality.

Why Some Cities Lose When Others Win [Richard Florida on The Atlantic Cities]

Simulations by Robert Axtell of George Mason University show that the biggest, dominant cities can survive and thrive for a very long time. New York has been America’s largest city since its first census in 1790.  London has been the United Kingdom’s largest city for a very long time. Athens and Rome have remained influential long past their prime.  But the competition and “churning” among smaller second- and third-tier cities is brutal. These cities rise and fall frequently. Early in the 20th century, rising industrial cities in the United States and Europe displaced once dominant mercantile centers. By the end of that century, many of those same industrial cities were being replaced by knowledge-based ones.   This reordering is now happening on a global scale. Rampant globalization exposes smaller, niche cities to an onslaught of ferocious global competition. America’s entire industrial belt is fending off the rise of Shanghai and adjacent areas as the “world’s factory.”…The upshot is that the world is heading toward a single globalized system of cities, with ever large cities at the top and much more volatility and turbulence for small and medium size ones.  This will likely reinforce the position of the New Yorks, Londons, Tokyos, Sao Paolos and Shanghais of the world, while smaller and medium size cities face far greater turbulence and volatility. This much is clear: The new phase of globalization entails a dramatic reordering of cities around the world.  Dealing with this increasingly spiky, concentrated and unequal economic landscape will serve as a major challenge for mayors, city leaders and global policy makers for some time to come.

Putin Wages War on Vodka as Lifestyle Death Toll Mounts [Henry Meyer and Stepan Kravechenko on Bloomberg]

The average Russian, including women and youths, drank 77 liters (20.3 gallons) of beer, 9 liters of spirit and 7 liters of wine in 2011, Euromonitor data shows. One in five Russian men die from harmful use of alcohol, the Geneva-based WHO says. “We are used to smoking, drinking, eating a poor diet and doing little sport and then falling ill, and expect to be operated on or take pills to get better,” Nikolai Gerasimenko, deputy head of the lower house of parliament’s health committee, said in an interview. “That’s got to stop.”

In This Town, Trick-or-Treaters Have One More Creature to Fear [Alistair MacDonald on The Wall Street Journal]

Most in this town of around 1,100 have tales of close calls and heroic escapes. At a recent school Halloween costume swap, girls traded clothes and bear stories. Khalee Palmer, 10 years old, said one got its nose stuck in a car window after her mother closed it on the bear. Then there are the bears themselves. At around 8 p.m. on Halloween, Churchill’s streets will clear, and the bear patrol heads home. But for those bears cooling their heels in the local tank, their stretch continues. They will be tranquilized and carried by helicopter north to where the ice has frozen. There, Messrs. Wlock and Windsor will release them and bid goodbye. “You hope not to have to see them again,” said Mr. Windsor. “You wish ’em well.”

Journalism in the Obama age shows the real media bias [Glenn Greenwald on The Guardian]

Ample ink is spilled over debating whether the US media is biased in favor of Republicans or Democrats. It is neither. The overwhelming, driving bias of the US media is subservience to power, whoever happens to be wielding it. That is what explains why the US media has been so obsequious first with George Bush and now with his Democratic successor (for those who doubt that “the liberal media” venerated Bush as much as Lewis and Brinkely do Obama, I’ll remind you of this still-remarkable, borderline pornographic display of giddy fawning on Mission Accomplished Day, or the fact that Bush’s own Press Secretary wrote a book mocking the US media for how “deferential” it was to the Bush White House). It’s why journalists joyously dance with top officials, swing on their tires, are creepily grateful when they’re sprayed in the face by their squirt guns, and play fun beach games with the very campaign officials they’re ostensibly covering. The central function, the religion, of the US establishment media is adulation of those who wield power, especially military power as personified by the inaptly referred to “commander-in-chief”. Brinkley conducted the interview in the Oval Office from his knees because – with some significant exceptions – that’s the posture which US media culture assumes in the presence of the royal court.

How Barack Obama Vindicated ‘The Cult of the Presidency’ [Connor Freidersdorf on The Atlantic]

The “cult of the presidency” thesis is one Democrats and Republicans would both do well to understand and grapple with. But it holds a lesson for everyone who is attracted to third-party candidates too. If flaws in modern attitudes toward the presidency really are a big part of the problem, it wouldn’t be enough to elect one civil libertarian president, even if he or she improbably resisted the temptations and pressures of the office. In the long run, only a strong Congress can rein in the executive branch. Expecting a Ron Paul or Jill Stein figure to do it from the White House falls prey to the same wrongheaded thinking that makes a cult of the presidency. It’s fine to vote third party, but changing Congress ought to be the more urgent priority. As Healy puts it, “Can the president launch a war without Congress? How far do executive surveillance powers extend? Can the president use U.S. armed forces to seize an American citizen on American soil and hold him in a military brig? Can he authorize the targeted killing of an American citizen via robot assassin? These are core questions of federal power over which the president enjoys far more discretion than he does over the budget. And yet when it comes to the role of the presidency and the scope of executive power, there isn’t a dime’s worth of difference between the two tickets.” He’s hardly the first to observe as much. But his explanation for why there isn’t any significant difference is as compelling and original as any I know.

How to eat a Triceratops [Matt Kaplan on Nature]

As Fowler and his colleagues examined the various types of bite mark on the skulls, they were intrigued by the extensive puncture and pull marks on the neck frills on some of the specimens. At first, this seemed to make no sense. “The frill would have been mostly bone and keratin,” says Fowler. “Not much to eat there.” The pulling action and the presence of deep parallel grooves led the team to realise that these marks were probably not indicative of actual eating, but repositioning of the prey. The scientists suggest that the frills were in the way of Tyrannosaurus as it was trying to get at the nutrient-rich neck muscles. “It’s gruesome, but the easiest way to do this was to pull the head off,” explains Fowler with a grin. The researchers found further evidence to support this idea when they examined the Triceratops occipital condyles — the ball-socket head–neck joint — and found tooth marks there too. Such marks could only have been made if the animal had been decapitated.

Curiously Strong Remains:

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The content on this site is provided as general information and entertainment only and should not be taken as investment advice. All site content shall not be construed as a recommendation to buy or sell any security or financial product, or to participate in any particular trading or investment strategy. The ideas expressed on this site are solely the opinions of the author and do not necessarily represent the opinions of firms affiliated with the author. The author may or may not have a position in any security referenced herein and may or may not seek to do business with companies mentioned via this website. Any action that you take as a result of information or analysis on this site is ultimately your responsibility. Consult your investment adviser before making any investment decisions.

11
Oct
09

Roundup – Wonka’s Tunnel of Hell Reversed

Line O’ the Day:

Masturbating to Showgirls when I was younger warped my psyche, because from that point on, I expected the female orgasm to look like Elizabeth Berkley flopping around (NSFW) like an injured sea lion under a waterfall.  But as it turns out, the female orgasm is a myth.” [Filmdrunk]

Best of the Best:

Ook-Ook is a Mindless Savage and Even He Knows When to Pull His Punches:

06
Oct
09

Roundup – The Obama Smile

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Line O’ the Day:

“I guarantee you right now, Roland Emmerich is watching tsunami footage and wearing a ball gag while his mistress stomps on his nuts and makes explosion sounds.” [Filmdrunk]

Best of the Best:

Remains of the Day:

01
Sep
09

Roundup – The Chiefs

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Line O’ the Day:

“This transaction combines Marvel’s strong global brand and world-renowned library of characters including Iron Man, Spider-Man, X-Men, Captain America, Fantastic Four and Thor with Disney’s creative skills, unparalleled global portfolio of entertainment properties, and a business structure that maximizes the value of creative properties across multiple platforms and territories [i.e., selling toys],” said Robert A. Iger, President and Chief Executive Officer of The Walt Disney Company.

Translation: “We really like yer cow, so we’re gonna milk it till it sh’ts blood.”…And after the deal was made, a Marvel exec followed a Disney exec into a bathroom stall where he helped the Disney exec chop a global line of business on the toilet seat, and then integrated it with his nostril.  “YAHTZEE!” shouted the exec, when reached for comment. [Filmdrunk]

Deadspin:

NEWS JOB:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

08
Aug
09

Roundup – Been a While

It makes me happy.  Why?  Fuck you, it makes me happy.

Line O’ The Day:

Accompanied by his sidekick Ken Jeong*, Piven announces the “lumberjack match” between John Cena and The MiZ, whom Piven keeps referring to as “Le Miz”.  Haha, it’s funny because no one there gets it.  And wait a second, isn’t The MiZ that guy from The Real World who everyone laughed at because he wanted to be a wrestler?  They actually let him be a wrestler?  Where have I been?  Oh that’s right, not watching “raw” wrestling.  Call me old fashioned, but when I hear “lumberjack match” I expect someone getting hit with an axe or f’d in the B. [FilmDrunk]

Deadspin:

Big Daddy Drew via Deadspin:

NEWSICANE:

30
Jun
09

Roundup – Tairy Greene

Vodpod videos no longer available.

“You’re not a person if you’re not acting!”

The Best of Zach Galifianakis on Tim and Eric.

Line o’ the Day:

“‘Despite negative reviews, more than 90% of those polled as they left theaters said the [Transformers’] sequel was as good as, or better than, the first.’  I find that poll hard to believe, but knowing the audience for this film I’m not sure those polled were capable of understanding the question.” [Filmdrunk]

The Offend-O-Bot 3000 Strikes Again

Car Wash | Orlando, FL, USA

(An old man walks into the lobby.)

Me: “Hi, how are you doing?”

Customer: “Everyone I can.”

Me: “…”

(The customer pulls out a cigar, lights it, then ashes it on the counter.)

Me: “You can’t smoke a cigar in here.”

Customer: “That’s what she said.”

Me: “…”

Deadspin

Bloomberg

NEWISCANE:

Definitely Not In The Job Description

Pizza Delivery | Chilliwack, BC, Canada

Me: “Thanks for calling [pizza place]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I would like…” *places order as usual*

Me: “Okay, is there anything else I can do for you?”

Caller: “Yes! When the driver arrives, could you tell him these instructions?”

Me: “Okay. I’ll be your driver, by the way.”

Caller: “Alright. First, I want you to knock on the window 3 times, then yell like a Wookie. Then knock 2 more times and make alien noises.”

Me: “Alien…noises?”

Caller: “You know the ‘click’ and stuff. Like in the movie…uhh, what movie is that again?”

Me: “You mean Signs?”

Caller: “Yeah! That’s the one. Okay, so after you does that, knock three more times and then yell, ‘PLANKTON!’”

Me: “Anything else?”

Caller: “Oh yeah, do you have any lingerie?”

Me: “Not on me…”

Caller: “Oh, well you should drive home and then find some, and wear that to the door.”

Me: “Okay, is that all, ma’am?”

Caller: “Yeah, but don’t forget the lingerie!”

(I decide to go along with the caller’s request, put on some shorts, and roll the legs up so it’s similar to a Speedo. Half an hour later, I arrive at their door. The entire party comes outside to watch my show of knocks and clicks, and then poses with me to take pictures. I got a $15 tip, too!)




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