Posts Tagged ‘seeking alpha

15
Jul
09

Roundup – Andy Rooney Talks About Fruit

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Line O’ the Day:

Soldiers talk much of honor. I do not understand how military service can possibly be thought honorable. If the Wehrmacht were landing in North Carolina, yes, but I do not believe that it is. Where is the honor in bombing from the air lightly armed peasants who can’t fight back? It is cowardly, yes, and obscene, but do not talk of honor. Murder for hire is murder for hire.

We now have men who sit at screens, drinking coffee and firing missiles from remote robotic aircraft at people on the ground whom they cannot identify. Brave men, they. I could burst into a kindergarten and kill the children with a ball bat. The one is as honorable as the other.

Recently I saw on television a black sergeant in Afghanistan, probably chosen by his commander for photogenicity, standing in front of a tank or mobile gun, I forget which. He said something scripted like “This is a such-and-such unit, the most powerful fighting force in the world.” This sort of ritual cockiness is carefully ingrained. Near my barracks in Parris Island was a sign, “The most dangerous thing in the world is a Marine rifleman.” If it had said “an ambitious colonel” it would have come closer to truth. [Fred On Everything]

Best of the Best:

Bloomberg:

Seeking Alpha:

NEWISCANE:

One More Puke On The Path To Recovery

Gas Station | Syracuse, NY, USA

(I’m a female working in a gas station and it’s close to midnight. The customer is obviously drunk, which means I can’t sell him alcohol.)

Customer: “You’re the kind of pretty thing I’m not allowed to touch.

(He proceeds to our beer cooler and takes one bottle out of a six-pack.)

Me: “Sir, I can’t sell you that for two reasons. One, you are obviously drunk and store policy says you cant but alcohol. Two, if you were sober it would have to be the whole six-pack or nothing.”

Customer: *stares at me for 30 seconds and then pukes on his coat*

Customer: “Am I sober enough now?”

California poised to shut gates on great outdoors as parks struggle with budgets

08
Jul
09

Roundup – Fail Whale

Vodpod videos no longer available.

I just don’t have the words…
Line O’ The Day:

“Meanwhile Ismail and his mom moved into their $50,000, one-room apartment.  Pff, for that kind of money, you can get a mansion in Detroit with a fence made of corpses.” [Filmdrunk]

Bloomberg:

Seeking Alpha:

NEWISCANE:

04
Jul
09

Roundup – Fourth of July

July 4th: Exploding the Myths

Line O’ The Day:

“OK, a brief excursion into cosmic truth. First, socialism. Hard-line conservatives with little grasp of economics refer to anything they don’t like—Hillary, national health care, regulation of anything if it might cost them money—as “socialist.” It’s a utility pejorative, devoid of meaning, as “racist” and “elitist” are for political south-paws. Socialism is of course a system in which the government owns the means of production. Check your dictionary.  Ah! But in America, the means of production own the government. Inverted socialism it is. Here is a far better thing. If you are a means of production, anyway.” [FredonEverything]

Bloomberg:

Seeking Alpha:

NEWSICANE:

01
Jul
09

Roundup – Kirk’s Back Rub

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Line O’ The Day:

“One of the new commercials even says ‘Depp. Is. Dillinger.’ in three dramatic on-screen cuts, but no mention of Bale.  Nothing.  At all. How can that be?  They still put Cameron Diaz on posters and that fug dipshit hasn’t sold a movie by herself ever.  Posters with her are only good if you need something to point at as you tell the ticket guy, ‘I don’t know what that one is but if you sell me a ticket for it I will punch you in the face.'” [Filmdrunk]

Bloomberg:

Seeking Alpha

NEWISCANE:

And this one gets its own line:

Joe Jackson is Devastated: “Michaels father Joe Jackson held a press conference with the Rev. Al Sharpton today, and it was every bit the understated and dignified affair as that made it sound. Is that a giant purple gorilla behind them? You know it brother.” The purple gorilla almost makes more sense than Al Sharpton.  What is Al doing there?  Furthermore, what does Al do anymore?  Can you even list “tragedy profiteer” on an IRS return?




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