Posts Tagged ‘the onion

10
Mar
10

Roundup – Breaking Bullshit

Line O’ the Day:

“I promised no politics here and I stick to it. But I never said anything about never mentioning other sports, although I think I’ll start that rule about a paragraph from now. If you’d like to read the most poorly-informed conclusion I’ve come across in sports media this year, you have your link. Proceed with caution. In short, it is the contention that the comeback of Tiger Woods will be more difficult than the one Muhammad Ali faced in the 1960’s. If the writer can let me know when Woods is punitively drafted by the military even though he is about eight years older than almost all the other draftees, I’ll begin to take him seriously. In the interim I am again left to marvel how somebody can rise to a fairly prominent media position with no discernible insight or talent, save for an apparent ability to mix up a vast bowl of word salad very quickly. “ – Keith Olberman, Johnny Orsino, Hall of Famer [Baseball Nerd] Update from Deadspin

Best of the Best:

The Remains:

Wow, That’s a Burn:

The Cup Is Definitely Half Empty

Sporting Goods Store | North Syracuse, NY, USA

(A woman and her twelve year-old son are buying hockey equipment.)

Me: “Okay, you’ll also need a cup & supporter for him.”

Customer: “How do I know what size he needs?”

Me: “The supporter is based on his waist size. Do you know his waist size?”

Customer: “Yes, but how do I know what size the cup should be for him?”

Me: “Well, you’d know better than me! I’d recommend the teen size.”

Customer: “No. If he’s anything like his father, he’ll need an extra-small.”

22
Feb
10

Roundup – Insidious Worm

Line O’ the Day:

“A U.K. studio is planning a Treasure Island movie, but don’t get the wrong idea, it won’t be like those crusty old things your grandpa used to look at — what were those called?  Books?  Yeah, screw that.  This is gonna be more like if Roxxxy the Sexbot got fisted by an iPad.” – Vince Mancini, Studio Planning Not Your Granpa’s Treasure Island [FilmDrunk]

Best of the Best:

The Remains:

NBC’s Olympic Coverage:




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