Roundup – Dogs Riding Bikes

Line O’ the Day:

“You listen to me, Jets fan. This ain’t your father’s Jets. Your father was a pussy. I’m sorry, son, but it’s true. Hell, these ain’t even your grandpas Jets. These are the fucking Rex Ryan Jets. We’re gonna fucking annihilate those fuckers. Then we’re gonna stomp on their heads. Then we’re gonna eat turkey drumsticks, drink Beam right from the bottle, sing Def Leppard karaoke, and bang 17-year-olds in the mouth. You ready? You gonna do some fucking?” [KSK]

Deadspin:

• Lidge Meltdown Brings Fan Meltdown
• Sean Salisbury Gets the Final Word.  I think.
• Lamar and Khloe–a Tale of Romance and Bar Tabs [Big Daddy Drew]
• Mark Schlereth is Awful and Needs to be Liquidated [Big Daddy Drew]

NEWS ON TOP:

• NFL has No Business Being in Jacksonville [Yahoo!]
• Cat Congress Mired in Sunbeam [The Onion]
• 25 Favorite Fake Movie Brands [Gunaxin]
• Yes, You Should Start Felix Jones This Week: the KSK Football/Sex Mailbag, Featuring the Saddest Letter of All Time [KSK]
• Al Franken Reads 4th Amendment to Justice Department Official [The Washington Independent]
• Pritchard Discovers the Crashing Monetary Data [The Economic Policy Journal]
• Army to Allow Iraq War Objector to Resign [MSNBC]
• Animals with Light Sabers [animalswithlightsabers.com]
• Bank Bailout Reject Embraced by Declawed Tiger [Bloomberg]
• Fed’s Focus on Exit Ignores Unguarded Entrance [Bloomberg]

OBR: When in the course of human events…

One of the truly frightening things in your life is when you write about dying in your apartment and how many days you’d be there and you get several very well reasoned (maybe sorta half-joking) responses.  Mortality is not something that bothers one if there is lasting memorial to their time on earth.  A monument, no matter how insignificant, is one way to achieve an extension of one’s life, or at least one’s effect within life.  I suppose this, more than anything else, is why people donate in order to have a wharf, science laboratory, alcove or men’s locker room named after them.  It was proof that once, they were here.

When I started a website, I retained very little readership, partly because I didn’t put much effort into it, but even more so because I very little recourse in how to track views.  When I switched over to a wordpress blog due to vagaries of the internet world, I was presented with a startling breakdown of views of my blog.  I saw that I was getting quite a few views a week.  And I felt pretty good about myself.  However, those feelings were misplaced upon further reflection.  I noted that most views were coming to one particular article I had written months previous on my old site and archived (https://heatdeathhour.wordpress.com/2009/05/19/highway-child/).  And I noted that most of the views of this page were a result of web searches, web searches focusing on:

Garbage Pail Kids.

I had included a photo of garbage pail kids in that article and that was drawing the attention.  The many hours I had spent on that article and scores of others meant nothing.  An image that I had copied from someone else had drawn the vast majority (85% to be precise) of the traffic to the blog.

My added value was possibly negative.

So I present to you the Thundercats video above that is my highest grossing youtube ever, by a wide margin and was merely the product of mashing together preexisting audio and video.  Here is my latest, and possibly most offensive video to date (not available in Guernsey, Ireland, Isle of Man, Jersey, or the United Kingdom due to copyright–I’m not even close to kidding), a similar mash of music and video from fairly random sources conglomerated in a growing haze of alcohol and eccentricity.  Starring Gary Busey.

But fuck that previous article.  Garbarge pail kids are moving to a new place.  Right here.  Right now.  If any post is getting traffic, it’s this one.  Enjoy folks.  I know there’s not enough of you out there listening to fill a Mazda Miata, but sometimes hearing your own echo is enough to realize that once you were here.

Roundup – Duck Hunt vs. Contra

Line O’ The Day:

“KHLOE KARDASHIAN – will marry LA Laker Lamar Odom this Sunday, even though they only met last month. “It will be a very detailed and classy affair,” a source said of the wedding. Unlike the divorce next month, which will be haphazard and bullet ridden.” [WWTDD]

Deadspin:

• Tulsa’s Proactive Mascot Teaches You About Electricity, I Think
• Megan Fox Will Kick You in the Boner [Big Daddy Drew]
• Chris Fowler Feels Clemson Fan’s Pain (Not Really)
• And Down Goes a Yalie
• St. John’s Also Excited about Ambiguous Weather-Based Mascots (Ed Note: took me roughly five minutes to realize the two athletes in that first picture were women)
• How did that “Party Pass” Work Out for Everyone?
• Dimwit Redskins Fans Don’t Like Dimwit who Called Them Dimwits
• Worst Gambling Story Ever Gets a Little Worser
• Mark McGwire’s Insurance Policy Required Him to Take the Stuff that Inspired Our National ‘Roids Hysteria
• The Bleeding Kansas Athletic Department
• Cross Country Hazing Gets a Little Vampiritic

Sean Salisbury Saga:

• Sean Salisbury Has a Few Things to Get Off His Chest
• Sean Salisbury Continues Threatening Email Tirade

HEAT DEATH NEWS VAN:

• “Honey, What’s a Four-Letter Word for Lofty Anklegrabber?” [KSK]
• Craig Bellamy Hates Your Face [WithLeather]
• “It’s Not Like Nigerians Do Eat Aliens” [FilmDrunk]
• Werner Herzog to Open University of Huge Ball-Having [FilmDrunk]
• Catacombs?  What, Catacombs? [KSK]
• The “Tenther” Smear [Reason]
• How the British Invented “Development” to Keep the Empire and Substitute Racism [Aid Watch]
• Inside the Apocalyptic Soviet Doomsday Machine [Wired]
• Whoops: Anti-ACORN Bill Ropes in Defense Contractors, Others Charged with Fraud [Huffington Post]
• “You can Either have Sex or Immortality” [Reason]
• The Rubber Room – the Battle Over New York City’s Worst Teachers [New Yorker]

KHLOE KARDASHIAN – will marry LA Laker Lamar Odom this Sunday, even though they only met last month. “It will be a very detailed and classy affair,” a source said of the wedding. Unlike the divorce next month, which will be haphazard and bullet ridden.